From grumpy to grateful

Photo by Ramona Danielson

It’s the natural world that opens me up. It’s the first step that propels me forward. Sometimes I have to make myself go outside because I know that movement and outdoor light are what I need. In some of those instances, I say to myself, “Go! Get outside! If you want to turn back in three minutes, you can.” Oddly enough, I can’t think of any time that I’ve ever turned back.

At home, we weren’t always happy with each other – Mark could be off in his world and I in mine. The slightest bit of testiness filled the space between us.

Plus, the space between us in our condo wasn’t always quite large enough.

The space had certainly seemed large enough earlier in the day, but that was because I was alone. And later, walking home from church, the world was wide open and balmy. Winter snowmelt was dripping from railings and roofs, and birds were singing oh so cheerily. I did a double trek around the park, just because I could.

Now that I was home though, the delight had left and a kind of grumpiness set in.

“Outdoors! Outdoors! For the both of us,” I thought. As though a mom were shooing us out, we left our condo. At first we ambled along, but almost immediately we sped up as we spied the wisps of clouds streaking across the sky. The first half-hour left Mark remarking that his knee was aching and me re- adjusting my lumpy woolen sock, but then I said, “Oh, let’s go on a ways farther.”

There was life all around us along the dike and the river: children sliding on saucers, dogs, bikes, joggers, strollers, and cross-country skiers. Some things were hidden from sight but still caught our ears – from across the river, a soft “Who, who, whooo” called to us again and again.

It was half-way back that I turned to Mark and, respecting his modest nature, I said, “No-one can see us – let’s kiss.” And on his lips, I planted a good firm “I love you” kiss. I couldn’t resist. The outdoors had once again re-energized and transformed me.

How did this happen? I’d lumbered out, strolled along, cantered up and down a dike, seen the late afternoon moon rising in the sky, noted the U-turn that a tree limb had taken, and taken that same U-turn myself. And on the way I’d propelled myself from grumpy to grateful.